Monday, October 29, 2007

Toxic People

I am so tired of toxic people...A few months ago I became so angry, so frustrated and so absolutely fed up with these kinds of people that I stopped answering my phone, stopped initiating any contact with them and simply stopped caring if they existed or not. I felt as if I had become their crutch and it was a burden that I could not, would not carry any longer. These people became angry with me and bombarded my answering machine with messages and my mailbox with letters asking, "Are you mad at me?", and telling me, "I miss my friend." It was so darned childish...First the "what about me" crap and then the attempts to put me on a guilt trip because I had not put these toxic people first. But, I handled it very well...I simply ignored them...I deleted the messages from the machine, browsed over the letters before throwing them in the garbage and went about my merry little way without a shred of guilt.

I wanted to shout to these people..."HEY! I DO have a life! I AM busy! Can't you see I've got my hands full raising my fifth child and I don't WANT to raise your kid, too? I don't have time to run around my house with the phone stuck to my ear for four hours three days a week while you tell me every single bodily function you experience, every ache and pain you have or how many pain killers you cram down your throat every four hours! I don't care if your husband talks mean to you or shows his ass 24/7...It ain't MY problem! I don't care if some guy at church is sleeping with his best friend's wife or if some lady at church wanted someone to give her money out of the offering plate... It doesn't concern me! And, I don't care if nobody likes me or if they blame me for stupid crap behind my back..Hell, that might be a lie, just like the other forty you've told me."
But instead, I've taken the easy way out...the path of least resistance...a way to keep peace...I just ignore these people and their toxic, smothering, oppressive presence.
In turn, they think me a coward. HA! If they truly knew me they would truly NOT call me cowardly, but extremely self-controlled! All they need to do is ask my husband and my pastor:)

I have just had enough of the whining and pity parties, attention seeking behavior and lethal gossip. Drama, drama, and more drama...I hate soap operas because of the drama, so why on earth would I put up with it from people in my life?
Take responsibility for your own actions, your own choices and your own decisions. Don't try to put me on a guilt trip to make yourself feel better and more worthy, and don't play games with me...Speak when necessary and make sure it's the truth, not some gossip you've heard or some sordid fantasy you've contrived within your own creative mind. Stop whining about your ailments...Hell, we're all getting older and we all hurt some place or another...I know people who are battling cancer and living with tremendous pain and disfigurement, yet they don't bitch or moan, whine or pout continuously! If your husband is a pain in your ass, kick HIS! If you don't like the way he treats you, make a change...maybe in yourself or maybe in your place of residence, but quit bawling about it constantly and DO something, or SHUT UP 'cause the saga is old now. And finally, I do not care who is sleeping with whose wife because it does not concern me...It ain't my business and it ain't my problem...And anyway, why do YOU care unless you're jealous of one or the other!!!

I just don't have enough years left in me to live them in a dumpster filled with toxic waste and garbage. Every day that God allows me to wake up is a gift...Every second that God allows me to live and breath is a priviledge and unless I make a conscious effort to make the moments count with a positive attitude geared towards positive results, then I have wasted the moments and shamed my God...I will have wasted opportunity and I will have wasted precious time.

To Live, to Love and to Laugh...To speak good words in truth and with tact...To pray for Godly wisdom and to use it when He sends it...To be grateful for each new moment He so generously gives me and to pass this own to those around me...These are the things that are important and meaningful and lasting...These are the things I yearn for and the things I set my course for...

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