I am so tired of toxic people...A few months ago I became so angry, so frustrated and so absolutely fed up with these kinds of people that I stopped answering my phone, stopped initiating any contact with them and simply stopped caring if they existed or not. I felt as if I had become their crutch and it was a burden that I could not, would not carry any longer. These people became angry with me and bombarded my answering machine with messages and my mailbox with letters asking, "Are you mad at me?", and telling me, "I miss my friend." It was so darned childish...First the "what about me" crap and then the attempts to put me on a guilt trip because I had not put these toxic people first. But, I handled it very well...I simply ignored them...I deleted the messages from the machine, browsed over the letters before throwing them in the garbage and went about my merry little way without a shred of guilt.
I wanted to shout to these people..."HEY! I DO have a life! I AM busy! Can't you see I've got my hands full raising my fifth child and I don't WANT to raise your kid, too? I don't have time to run around my house with the phone stuck to my ear for four hours three days a week while you tell me every single bodily function you experience, every ache and pain you have or how many pain killers you cram down your throat every four hours! I don't care if your husband talks mean to you or shows his ass 24/7...It ain't MY problem! I don't care if some guy at church is sleeping with his best friend's wife or if some lady at church wanted someone to give her money out of the offering plate... It doesn't concern me! And, I don't care if nobody likes me or if they blame me for stupid crap behind my back..Hell, that might be a lie, just like the other forty you've told me."
But instead, I've taken the easy way out...the path of least resistance...a way to keep peace...I just ignore these people and their toxic, smothering, oppressive presence.
In turn, they think me a coward. HA! If they truly knew me they would truly NOT call me cowardly, but extremely self-controlled! All they need to do is ask my husband and my pastor:)
I have just had enough of the whining and pity parties, attention seeking behavior and lethal gossip. Drama, drama, and more drama...I hate soap operas because of the drama, so why on earth would I put up with it from people in my life?
Take responsibility for your own actions, your own choices and your own decisions. Don't try to put me on a guilt trip to make yourself feel better and more worthy, and don't play games with me...Speak when necessary and make sure it's the truth, not some gossip you've heard or some sordid fantasy you've contrived within your own creative mind. Stop whining about your ailments...Hell, we're all getting older and we all hurt some place or another...I know people who are battling cancer and living with tremendous pain and disfigurement, yet they don't bitch or moan, whine or pout continuously! If your husband is a pain in your ass, kick HIS! If you don't like the way he treats you, make a change...maybe in yourself or maybe in your place of residence, but quit bawling about it constantly and DO something, or SHUT UP 'cause the saga is old now. And finally, I do not care who is sleeping with whose wife because it does not concern me...It ain't my business and it ain't my problem...And anyway, why do YOU care unless you're jealous of one or the other!!!
I just don't have enough years left in me to live them in a dumpster filled with toxic waste and garbage. Every day that God allows me to wake up is a gift...Every second that God allows me to live and breath is a priviledge and unless I make a conscious effort to make the moments count with a positive attitude geared towards positive results, then I have wasted the moments and shamed my God...I will have wasted opportunity and I will have wasted precious time.
To Live, to Love and to Laugh...To speak good words in truth and with tact...To pray for Godly wisdom and to use it when He sends it...To be grateful for each new moment He so generously gives me and to pass this own to those around me...These are the things that are important and meaningful and lasting...These are the things I yearn for and the things I set my course for...
Monday, October 29, 2007
Misplaced friends...
Through the years I've misplaced many friends...When I was a child I had no control over this, but as an adult I simply neglected to follow through with phone calls or letters. Despite the reasons, there were just some I could never forget...
From Tarkington...Billy Joe, from first grade...There was Carrie, Vickie, Christine, Peggy, Tammy, Charlotte, Dena, Nina, Michelle...Mark, Mark, Mark...it was a popular name back then!...Bo with the pretty blue eyes, Billy, Darryl, Tony, Keith...
From Hardin...Betty Dianne, Stormy, Betty, Connie, Sue, Debbie, Janet...Earl, Ricky, Jerry, Kenneth...
From Shepherd... Kim, Stacy, Cathy, Pam, Angie, Melbalee, Ginger, Shirley, Cynthia...Ray, Wendell, Weldon, Roger, Doug, Charles...
From early adult life...Jerry, Beverly, Bobby, Crash, Dorinda...
And the ones I miss most are the ones I've never been able to see or speak to again. And though I doubt that I will ever see or speak to most of them ever again, I remember them with fondness and with love.
I wonder...am I remembered at all...by those I carry within my heart???
From Tarkington...Billy Joe, from first grade...There was Carrie, Vickie, Christine, Peggy, Tammy, Charlotte, Dena, Nina, Michelle...Mark, Mark, Mark...it was a popular name back then!...Bo with the pretty blue eyes, Billy, Darryl, Tony, Keith...
From Hardin...Betty Dianne, Stormy, Betty, Connie, Sue, Debbie, Janet...Earl, Ricky, Jerry, Kenneth...
From Shepherd... Kim, Stacy, Cathy, Pam, Angie, Melbalee, Ginger, Shirley, Cynthia...Ray, Wendell, Weldon, Roger, Doug, Charles...
From early adult life...Jerry, Beverly, Bobby, Crash, Dorinda...
And the ones I miss most are the ones I've never been able to see or speak to again. And though I doubt that I will ever see or speak to most of them ever again, I remember them with fondness and with love.
I wonder...am I remembered at all...by those I carry within my heart???
Sunday, October 28, 2007
My thoughts on my age...
I'm forty-four years, four months and 28 days old tonight and while my body feels it, my mind does not...It feels more like 20.
I remember my Nanny with such clarity that it often makes me cry, but that seems silly since she left this world March 10th, 1970...a long time ago. I wish I could have told her how much I loved her before she left, but I think she knew...For all of her faults and imperfections, she was the most wonderful grandmother a little girl could have for just six short years...And still, I remember her so clearly it brings tears to my eyes and an ache to my heart.
I remember Pa...His laughter, and then his sterness. He was a giant of a man to me, and I loved him and I feared him...Not a terrible fear, but a fear of reverence and respect. Oh, how I wish he could have stayed on this earth a little longer...like maybe the rest of my life! He had such wisdom and such Godliness that I could have really used his advisce.
Grandmother...I thank GOD that He saw fit for her to stay here through most of my young adult life! She was a treasure and she was the epitome of grace. Of course, she could get on my nerves quicker than just about anyone, but she always forgave me for my impatience...she understood that I was just a kid.
W.A.S...My first REAL love and my first REAL heartbreak. I never doubted love at first sight and suddenly in August of 1983 I experienced it first hand. He lost his life on June 22nd, 1985 (He was 21)...and I STILL miss him and think about him just about every day. On June 25th, 2007 I visited his grave...exactly 22 years after putting him in that final resting place, and later that evening it occured to me...I've loved and missed him longer than he lived...It seems like it was only yesterday when we were riding in his 4X4 busting out mud holes and jumping logs, or riding down old tram roads all night long listing to country music and drinking beer, or riding through the pastures looking at his cows, or going out partying with his friends...
I remember holding my babies for the first time...I remember singing silly songs to them, holding them when they cried, crying for them when they were sick or hurt...I remember the excitement on their faces come Christmas morning and sadly, I remember the disappointment, the hurt and the lonliness they felt when life wasn't so good.
I remember the first time I saw my husband...I didn't know who he was at the time, but I thought he was the ugliest man I'd ever seen with his beer belly hanging over his cut off shorts, his beard all scraggly and mishapened, with scrawney legs and flip flops on his feet. I remember the second time I saw him, (Though I thought it was the first) and how I fell in love with those gorgeous bably blue eyes, that clean shaven face and that wonderful nose. I also remember 6 months later seeing him walking through the house with cut offs and a beard, and how I realized in horror that he WAS the ugly man and I was now married to him!!! But, I was glad...Through all of the bad times, there have been some wonderful times, too. I remember how gentle and loving he was to our baby and how he has always been such a good provider. He adores me, though I don't know why...And after 20 years together I fear the day we should part 'cause I just don't know how we could make it without the other.
And yet, I don't feel old enough to have lived this many years and be standing on the threshold of middle age. I don't feel old enough to have grown children and grandchildren, nor do I feel old enough to be worried about losing my parents, or having arthritis in my spine or being told I need to have yearly mammograms! I don't feel old enough to have this much white hair, or this big of a belly or this wide of a behind. I don't feel old enough to be 44 years old!
In August of 2007 my cousin Karen who was 30ish years old died suddenly and the cornoner ruled her death as a suicide. She had no children and was divorced. She left behind a Blog with pictures of her artwork and a few posts from over a year ago. I remember babysitting Karen when she was just a toddler and she was just as beautiful a woman as she was a little girl...And my heart aches for the loss of such a beautiful, talented and successful young woman...
What will I leave behind once I do leave this earth? Memories, words written down for others to read, a few pictures I've taken or drawn, children, grandchildren and great grandchildren? Will I leave a mark???
I certainly hope so and I hope and pray that I have many more years to "write on the walls" of this life and on the hearts of those who know and love me...I hope I leave good memories that will last a lifetime.
I hope my smile and my laughter will be remembered, too.
I remember my Nanny with such clarity that it often makes me cry, but that seems silly since she left this world March 10th, 1970...a long time ago. I wish I could have told her how much I loved her before she left, but I think she knew...For all of her faults and imperfections, she was the most wonderful grandmother a little girl could have for just six short years...And still, I remember her so clearly it brings tears to my eyes and an ache to my heart.
I remember Pa...His laughter, and then his sterness. He was a giant of a man to me, and I loved him and I feared him...Not a terrible fear, but a fear of reverence and respect. Oh, how I wish he could have stayed on this earth a little longer...like maybe the rest of my life! He had such wisdom and such Godliness that I could have really used his advisce.
Grandmother...I thank GOD that He saw fit for her to stay here through most of my young adult life! She was a treasure and she was the epitome of grace. Of course, she could get on my nerves quicker than just about anyone, but she always forgave me for my impatience...she understood that I was just a kid.
W.A.S...My first REAL love and my first REAL heartbreak. I never doubted love at first sight and suddenly in August of 1983 I experienced it first hand. He lost his life on June 22nd, 1985 (He was 21)...and I STILL miss him and think about him just about every day. On June 25th, 2007 I visited his grave...exactly 22 years after putting him in that final resting place, and later that evening it occured to me...I've loved and missed him longer than he lived...It seems like it was only yesterday when we were riding in his 4X4 busting out mud holes and jumping logs, or riding down old tram roads all night long listing to country music and drinking beer, or riding through the pastures looking at his cows, or going out partying with his friends...
I remember holding my babies for the first time...I remember singing silly songs to them, holding them when they cried, crying for them when they were sick or hurt...I remember the excitement on their faces come Christmas morning and sadly, I remember the disappointment, the hurt and the lonliness they felt when life wasn't so good.
I remember the first time I saw my husband...I didn't know who he was at the time, but I thought he was the ugliest man I'd ever seen with his beer belly hanging over his cut off shorts, his beard all scraggly and mishapened, with scrawney legs and flip flops on his feet. I remember the second time I saw him, (Though I thought it was the first) and how I fell in love with those gorgeous bably blue eyes, that clean shaven face and that wonderful nose. I also remember 6 months later seeing him walking through the house with cut offs and a beard, and how I realized in horror that he WAS the ugly man and I was now married to him!!! But, I was glad...Through all of the bad times, there have been some wonderful times, too. I remember how gentle and loving he was to our baby and how he has always been such a good provider. He adores me, though I don't know why...And after 20 years together I fear the day we should part 'cause I just don't know how we could make it without the other.
And yet, I don't feel old enough to have lived this many years and be standing on the threshold of middle age. I don't feel old enough to have grown children and grandchildren, nor do I feel old enough to be worried about losing my parents, or having arthritis in my spine or being told I need to have yearly mammograms! I don't feel old enough to have this much white hair, or this big of a belly or this wide of a behind. I don't feel old enough to be 44 years old!
In August of 2007 my cousin Karen who was 30ish years old died suddenly and the cornoner ruled her death as a suicide. She had no children and was divorced. She left behind a Blog with pictures of her artwork and a few posts from over a year ago. I remember babysitting Karen when she was just a toddler and she was just as beautiful a woman as she was a little girl...And my heart aches for the loss of such a beautiful, talented and successful young woman...
What will I leave behind once I do leave this earth? Memories, words written down for others to read, a few pictures I've taken or drawn, children, grandchildren and great grandchildren? Will I leave a mark???
I certainly hope so and I hope and pray that I have many more years to "write on the walls" of this life and on the hearts of those who know and love me...I hope I leave good memories that will last a lifetime.
I hope my smile and my laughter will be remembered, too.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
My Pet Peeve of the Day
For a long time I thought it was just me and my paranoid self...So, I tried to be extra nice and pay closer attention to others behavior just in case they were preoccupied or having a really bad day...But I arrived at the conclusion that it wasn't just me... and those people who weren't bothered by these behaviors in others were actually people who displayed those behaviors themselves...
Rudeness. People are just rude these days and it is everywhere. it is rare to find people who are polite anymore and I wonder why that is?
When I was growing up we showed respect to our elders, even if they were cranky and irritating. We didn't talk back to our elders unless we wanted red stripes on our behinds or Momma's hand slapping our mouths faster than the speed of light. When I started working at about 15 at a small corner grocery store and gas station, the first thing I was taught was to always be polite to the customers, greet everyone who entered the store with a smile on my face and to always thank them for their business when they left.
I've never forgotten that and all these years later, I still expect it of others...I just don't get that kind treatment as often as I used to, and neither does anyone else.
I have dealt with banks since I was about 16 and can't even count the times I've used the drive-up window. I pull up, the teller sees me, smiles and pops the little drawer out to me as she asks, "How are you today?" We make small talk as she takes my deposit or cashes my check and then she thanks me as I leave.
It's pretty much a no-brainer...Person drives up to window, teller recognizes person and pops the drawer out because she knows there is a 99% chance the person will either put money in or take money out...I mean, there are signs posted that read, "Money Orders can only be purchased from teller inside bank" and "Loan payments must be paid at the Loan Department, not the Drive-thru"...
About 10 months ago we changed banks and every week I make a deposit into our account. I have never driven up to the window and asked my balance, nor have I ever tried to pay a loan or purchase a money order from the drive-thru. I put money in and I take money out...That's it.
And every Friday I pull up to the bank drive thru window and the teller, one of three, looks out the window at me and stands there. The drawer doesn't pop-out...She just looks at me.
I say, "Hello?" impatiently and then she pushes the little intercom and sometimes says, "Yes?"
Or sometimes she says, "Uh, can I help you?"
Other times she might say, "Is there something you need?"
Okay...Forgive me if I'm not understanding this situation, but I'm at a freakin' drive-thru bank window holding money in my hand as a 6 year old sits in the back seat asking if he's going to get a sticker this time and these tellers don't comprehend WHY I'm there???
I wonder what they would do if they said, "Yes?" and I replied, "NO?" I wonder how far that conversation would travel...
Or, if they asked, "Uh, can I help you? and I replied, "Duh. Do you think your capable of helping me?"
Or better yet, when they asks, "Is there something you need?" and I reply, "Hell, yeah. Give me all of my damned money and I'll go to another freakin' bank. Better yet, just give me all the damned money in the bank since that's what I REALLY need."
Okay, okay...I know what they would do if I did THAT, but still...It's tempting.
I have a friend who is quiet large and one day she went into a local business hoping to buy play shirts for her grand-daughters who are 6. She wasn't in that store but maybe 5 minutes when the owner comes up to her and says, "We don't have nothing that will fit you. We don't carry your size."
My friend turned around and walked out. She's a better Christian than I am...
At another shop in town, I stopped in one day browsing for sale items when the sales lady marches up to me and says, "Are you looking for something?" and her tone was not pleasant. She didn't ask if I was looking for something specific, just "are you looking for something". So, being my sweet self I replied sarcastically, "Aren't you on the ball today." She looked at me blankly before repeating herself, "Are you looking for something?" To which I replied, "Not anymore. I just remembered it's in a better store." I left her standing there with a frown...Hey, at least I left her standing.
A few months back I went into a Chili's and stood by the little sign that read, "Please wait to be seated." A few minutes passed and then I sloppy looking hostess supposed-to-be comes up and asked me suspiciously, "Can I help you?" I pointed to the sign and she gave me a dumb look, so I said, "I would like to get a table and eat lunch, IF that's okay with you."
Another no-brainer...I'm in an eatery, standing by a sign that tells me I have to wait to be seated and the hostess wants to know if she can help me???
In the defense of all the rude tellers, sales people, hostesses and such I will say that I have quiet an attitude and it doesn't take me much to get riled...However, whatever happened to common courtesy, general politeness and a little friendly service?
Wherever it is, I would sure like to have it back...
Rudeness. People are just rude these days and it is everywhere. it is rare to find people who are polite anymore and I wonder why that is?
When I was growing up we showed respect to our elders, even if they were cranky and irritating. We didn't talk back to our elders unless we wanted red stripes on our behinds or Momma's hand slapping our mouths faster than the speed of light. When I started working at about 15 at a small corner grocery store and gas station, the first thing I was taught was to always be polite to the customers, greet everyone who entered the store with a smile on my face and to always thank them for their business when they left.
I've never forgotten that and all these years later, I still expect it of others...I just don't get that kind treatment as often as I used to, and neither does anyone else.
I have dealt with banks since I was about 16 and can't even count the times I've used the drive-up window. I pull up, the teller sees me, smiles and pops the little drawer out to me as she asks, "How are you today?" We make small talk as she takes my deposit or cashes my check and then she thanks me as I leave.
It's pretty much a no-brainer...Person drives up to window, teller recognizes person and pops the drawer out because she knows there is a 99% chance the person will either put money in or take money out...I mean, there are signs posted that read, "Money Orders can only be purchased from teller inside bank" and "Loan payments must be paid at the Loan Department, not the Drive-thru"...
About 10 months ago we changed banks and every week I make a deposit into our account. I have never driven up to the window and asked my balance, nor have I ever tried to pay a loan or purchase a money order from the drive-thru. I put money in and I take money out...That's it.
And every Friday I pull up to the bank drive thru window and the teller, one of three, looks out the window at me and stands there. The drawer doesn't pop-out...She just looks at me.
I say, "Hello?" impatiently and then she pushes the little intercom and sometimes says, "Yes?"
Or sometimes she says, "Uh, can I help you?"
Other times she might say, "Is there something you need?"
Okay...Forgive me if I'm not understanding this situation, but I'm at a freakin' drive-thru bank window holding money in my hand as a 6 year old sits in the back seat asking if he's going to get a sticker this time and these tellers don't comprehend WHY I'm there???
I wonder what they would do if they said, "Yes?" and I replied, "NO?" I wonder how far that conversation would travel...
Or, if they asked, "Uh, can I help you? and I replied, "Duh. Do you think your capable of helping me?"
Or better yet, when they asks, "Is there something you need?" and I reply, "Hell, yeah. Give me all of my damned money and I'll go to another freakin' bank. Better yet, just give me all the damned money in the bank since that's what I REALLY need."
Okay, okay...I know what they would do if I did THAT, but still...It's tempting.
I have a friend who is quiet large and one day she went into a local business hoping to buy play shirts for her grand-daughters who are 6. She wasn't in that store but maybe 5 minutes when the owner comes up to her and says, "We don't have nothing that will fit you. We don't carry your size."
My friend turned around and walked out. She's a better Christian than I am...
At another shop in town, I stopped in one day browsing for sale items when the sales lady marches up to me and says, "Are you looking for something?" and her tone was not pleasant. She didn't ask if I was looking for something specific, just "are you looking for something". So, being my sweet self I replied sarcastically, "Aren't you on the ball today." She looked at me blankly before repeating herself, "Are you looking for something?" To which I replied, "Not anymore. I just remembered it's in a better store." I left her standing there with a frown...Hey, at least I left her standing.
A few months back I went into a Chili's and stood by the little sign that read, "Please wait to be seated." A few minutes passed and then I sloppy looking hostess supposed-to-be comes up and asked me suspiciously, "Can I help you?" I pointed to the sign and she gave me a dumb look, so I said, "I would like to get a table and eat lunch, IF that's okay with you."
Another no-brainer...I'm in an eatery, standing by a sign that tells me I have to wait to be seated and the hostess wants to know if she can help me???
In the defense of all the rude tellers, sales people, hostesses and such I will say that I have quiet an attitude and it doesn't take me much to get riled...However, whatever happened to common courtesy, general politeness and a little friendly service?
Wherever it is, I would sure like to have it back...
Monday, October 22, 2007
Sometimes It's A Bitch
The first time I heard this song by Stevie Nicks I had to go back and listen to it over and over again. It probably describes the ups and downs of my life better than I ever could...
Sometimes It's A Bitch written by Jon Bon Jovi & Billy Falcon
Well I've run through rainbows and castles of candy
I cried a river of tears from the pain
I try to dance with what life has to hand me
My partner's been pleasure...My partner's been pain....
There are days when I swear I could fly like an eagle
And dark desperate hours that nobody sees
My arms stretched triumphant on top of the mountain
My head in my hands...down on my knees...
Sometimes it's a bitch...sometimes it's a breeze
Sometimes love's blind...and sometimes it sees
Sometimes it's roses...and, sometimes it's weeds
Sometimes it's a bitch...sometimes it's a breeze
I've reached in darkness and come out with treasure
I've laid down with love and woke up with lies
What's it all worth only the heart can measure
It's not what's in the mirror...but what's left inside...
Sometimes it's a bitch...sometimes it's a breeze
Sometimes love's blind...and sometimes it sees
Sometimes it's roses...and, sometimes it's weeds
Sometimes it's a bitch...sometimes it's a breeze...
You gotta take it as it comes
Sometimes it don't come easy
I've run through rainbows and castles of candy
And I've cried a river of tears from the pain
I tried to dance with what life had to give me
And if I could...I'd do it all over again...
Sometimes it's a bitch...sometimes it's a breeze
Sometimes love's blind...and sometimes it sees
Sometimes it's roses...and sometimes it's weeds
Sometimes it's a bitch...sometimes it's a breeze
Sometimes the picture just ain't what it seems
You get what you want...but it's not what you need-
Sometimes it's a bitch...sometimes...it's a breeze....
Sometimes It's A Bitch written by Jon Bon Jovi & Billy Falcon
Well I've run through rainbows and castles of candy
I cried a river of tears from the pain
I try to dance with what life has to hand me
My partner's been pleasure...My partner's been pain....
There are days when I swear I could fly like an eagle
And dark desperate hours that nobody sees
My arms stretched triumphant on top of the mountain
My head in my hands...down on my knees...
Sometimes it's a bitch...sometimes it's a breeze
Sometimes love's blind...and sometimes it sees
Sometimes it's roses...and, sometimes it's weeds
Sometimes it's a bitch...sometimes it's a breeze
I've reached in darkness and come out with treasure
I've laid down with love and woke up with lies
What's it all worth only the heart can measure
It's not what's in the mirror...but what's left inside...
Sometimes it's a bitch...sometimes it's a breeze
Sometimes love's blind...and sometimes it sees
Sometimes it's roses...and, sometimes it's weeds
Sometimes it's a bitch...sometimes it's a breeze...
You gotta take it as it comes
Sometimes it don't come easy
I've run through rainbows and castles of candy
And I've cried a river of tears from the pain
I tried to dance with what life had to give me
And if I could...I'd do it all over again...
Sometimes it's a bitch...sometimes it's a breeze
Sometimes love's blind...and sometimes it sees
Sometimes it's roses...and sometimes it's weeds
Sometimes it's a bitch...sometimes it's a breeze
Sometimes the picture just ain't what it seems
You get what you want...but it's not what you need-
Sometimes it's a bitch...sometimes...it's a breeze....
My Husband's Vocabulary
NOTE:
I wrote this in an email and sent it to various people in my address book of which 95% were family. Every single person replied with laughter, save one...She was the wife of my husband's long time friend and had once dated my husband. Her reply to me was scathing as she reprimanded me for "making fun" of my spouse. I post this on my blog in her honor:)
Larry came in yesterday evening and said, "I've come to a colusive."
I said, "You came to a WHAT?"
He said, "I came to a clusion."
I was not in a good mood that day and got mad so fast it made my head spin. But, I clinched my jaw and said, "CONCLUSION. You arrived at a CONCLUSION!"
He said, "Yeah, a conclusive." Then he proceeded to tell me that he needed 16' boards, and so forth as I turned back to the stove, rolling my eyes I'm sure, and positive that I married a hillbilly straight out of "Deliverance".
I told Abby today and she and I shared the first hearty laugh we've had in a long time!
I just wish that he would quit trying to use words he can't pronounce.
Over the years we've owned "a isolating fan" and he's forever "gonna learn somebody somethin.", and he used to say that Philip "had no ambunction". I don't know about Philip, but I wouldn't want to have that either!
But if I ever, and I mean EVER, come to a colusive, or a clusion, or even a conclusive, I don't think I'll tell a soul.
I wrote this in an email and sent it to various people in my address book of which 95% were family. Every single person replied with laughter, save one...She was the wife of my husband's long time friend and had once dated my husband. Her reply to me was scathing as she reprimanded me for "making fun" of my spouse. I post this on my blog in her honor:)
Larry came in yesterday evening and said, "I've come to a colusive."
I said, "You came to a WHAT?"
He said, "I came to a clusion."
I was not in a good mood that day and got mad so fast it made my head spin. But, I clinched my jaw and said, "CONCLUSION. You arrived at a CONCLUSION!"
He said, "Yeah, a conclusive." Then he proceeded to tell me that he needed 16' boards, and so forth as I turned back to the stove, rolling my eyes I'm sure, and positive that I married a hillbilly straight out of "Deliverance".
I told Abby today and she and I shared the first hearty laugh we've had in a long time!
I just wish that he would quit trying to use words he can't pronounce.
Over the years we've owned "a isolating fan" and he's forever "gonna learn somebody somethin.", and he used to say that Philip "had no ambunction". I don't know about Philip, but I wouldn't want to have that either!
But if I ever, and I mean EVER, come to a colusive, or a clusion, or even a conclusive, I don't think I'll tell a soul.
What is More Important?
Not long ago I made a decision, after much thought and even more prayer, to speak out about an issue that, until then, no one else had cared enough to address. I knew that my courage would drastically change lives and effect those involved for the better, though I also knew those people would not see it as such. Yet I followed through...
A life was saved, perhaps two, and these lives have been changed for the better...And yet these persons do not, can not, perhaps will not admit this. Maybe it is too soon. Or, maybe they will forever be incapable of comprehending.
All I know is that I had to sleep with myself every night and live with myself every waking hour and I could not in good conscience turn my head and look the other way.
I am far from perfect...No one has to tell me thus, nor should anyone feel led to convince me of such by pointing out all of my failures. My mistakes are too many to count in even a single day, but I do know right from wrong and I do know that God did not give me intuition and eyes to see to have me turn away and ignore wrong doing when it is within my abilities to correct or find solutions that would lead to a more productive and safer life for others.
If you see a child being abused, do you turn away and hope that child is rescued, or do you make a call and continue to make those calls until that child is helped?
If you see an elderly person being neglected, do you wish them well as you go about your meaningless business and say it's not your problem, or do you step in and help that person recieve care with love and respect, allowing them to maintain their dignity?
If you see a woman whose spouse/partner abuses her, do you run away as fast as you can and judge her for staying, or do you step up to the plate with courage as you offer her your love and support as you find a way to strengthen her to the point she gains courage and leaves the abuser for a safe house because she knows it's not her fault and she is worth saving?
Would you be willing to sacrifice your cozy little smooth running life to give a special child a home, take an elderly person in or maybe even put yourself in danger to save one life?
If you wouldn't, that's you choice; But if you would, then you know what true love is all about and this world is a better place just because you are here.
The hardest thing I've ever learned in life was that life wasn't all about ME.
The easiest thing I've ever learned in life is that life IS about everyone else.
A life was saved, perhaps two, and these lives have been changed for the better...And yet these persons do not, can not, perhaps will not admit this. Maybe it is too soon. Or, maybe they will forever be incapable of comprehending.
All I know is that I had to sleep with myself every night and live with myself every waking hour and I could not in good conscience turn my head and look the other way.
I am far from perfect...No one has to tell me thus, nor should anyone feel led to convince me of such by pointing out all of my failures. My mistakes are too many to count in even a single day, but I do know right from wrong and I do know that God did not give me intuition and eyes to see to have me turn away and ignore wrong doing when it is within my abilities to correct or find solutions that would lead to a more productive and safer life for others.
If you see a child being abused, do you turn away and hope that child is rescued, or do you make a call and continue to make those calls until that child is helped?
If you see an elderly person being neglected, do you wish them well as you go about your meaningless business and say it's not your problem, or do you step in and help that person recieve care with love and respect, allowing them to maintain their dignity?
If you see a woman whose spouse/partner abuses her, do you run away as fast as you can and judge her for staying, or do you step up to the plate with courage as you offer her your love and support as you find a way to strengthen her to the point she gains courage and leaves the abuser for a safe house because she knows it's not her fault and she is worth saving?
Would you be willing to sacrifice your cozy little smooth running life to give a special child a home, take an elderly person in or maybe even put yourself in danger to save one life?
If you wouldn't, that's you choice; But if you would, then you know what true love is all about and this world is a better place just because you are here.
The hardest thing I've ever learned in life was that life wasn't all about ME.
The easiest thing I've ever learned in life is that life IS about everyone else.
The First Norther
I love the fall and today we had our first real norther of the season. I awoke to yellow skies that soon turned gray as the rain begin to fall in a slow drizzle. Before long the southerly winds shifted to northerly, the rains begin to fall heavier and the winds begin to blow the cool air over us.
When I was a kid, this time of year meant Trick or Treating, Fall Festivals, hog killing and hunting season. It meant Thanksgiving, wonderful food and Christmas, along with grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins I loved, but never got to spend enough time with.
Wood smoke, cracklin's and freshly baked sweet potatoes on a 40 degree day bring back pleasant memories.
The lazy afternoons: too cold to go out and play while Momma had her nap, I'd stay in my room and day dream for hours until I, too, would fall asleep.
As I grow older I think my best memories are the simple ones...The smells of Pappaw's smokehouse the day after he killed hogs; the feel of the cold on my face as my brother, Jim, and I rode my old horse, Star, through our pine sapling trails and ate cold biscuits for our picnic; tagging along with my younger brothers, Jim & Nathan, as they hunted squirrels and hoped for something larger; running outside to look up into the skies and find that first flock of geese heading south for the winter; day dreaming in my room on cold Saturday & Sunday afternoons because there was nothing else to do...How blessed I was then, and how very blessed I am now to have these precious memories.
But more than memories, I was blessed to have a home where I was safe and comfortable and warm and free to day dream on cold, lazy weekend afternoons.
I'll never smell Pappaw's smokehouse again, nor will Jim and I ever find a horse strong enough to carry both of us down any trails anywhere, and I doubt I'll ever tag along behind he and Nathan as they hunt squirrel, but I can go out and scan the skies for the geese heading south and I can still find times to daydream...and if I'm lucky, I might even sneak a nap in...As the first norther of the season rolls in...My old friend has returned.
When I was a kid, this time of year meant Trick or Treating, Fall Festivals, hog killing and hunting season. It meant Thanksgiving, wonderful food and Christmas, along with grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins I loved, but never got to spend enough time with.
Wood smoke, cracklin's and freshly baked sweet potatoes on a 40 degree day bring back pleasant memories.
The lazy afternoons: too cold to go out and play while Momma had her nap, I'd stay in my room and day dream for hours until I, too, would fall asleep.
As I grow older I think my best memories are the simple ones...The smells of Pappaw's smokehouse the day after he killed hogs; the feel of the cold on my face as my brother, Jim, and I rode my old horse, Star, through our pine sapling trails and ate cold biscuits for our picnic; tagging along with my younger brothers, Jim & Nathan, as they hunted squirrels and hoped for something larger; running outside to look up into the skies and find that first flock of geese heading south for the winter; day dreaming in my room on cold Saturday & Sunday afternoons because there was nothing else to do...How blessed I was then, and how very blessed I am now to have these precious memories.
But more than memories, I was blessed to have a home where I was safe and comfortable and warm and free to day dream on cold, lazy weekend afternoons.
I'll never smell Pappaw's smokehouse again, nor will Jim and I ever find a horse strong enough to carry both of us down any trails anywhere, and I doubt I'll ever tag along behind he and Nathan as they hunt squirrel, but I can go out and scan the skies for the geese heading south and I can still find times to daydream...and if I'm lucky, I might even sneak a nap in...As the first norther of the season rolls in...My old friend has returned.
Why a blog?
Why have I created my own blog...
My initial response would be, I don't know.
However, that's from my more flippant side...Because the real reason I've created this blog is for myself and my friends...those people who believe in me and what I write.
Writing has been a part of me since I was about ten years of age. I've written poetry and I've written essays: I've written short stories and I have a collection of unfinished books of fiction. And, of course, I write about things that happen in my every day life: funny things, sad things, things that piss me off and things that I deem important to who I am and what I believe.
My Life truly IS a Garden...
There's the dirt...some of it good and fertile, some of it lacking anything but the filth.
There is the grass...sometimes it makes for a nice place to lie back and enjoy it's softness, but then sometimes it overtakes the garden and needs to be cut or pulled out completely.
There are the flowers, the plants, the shrubs and trees...Beautiful pieces of life that only GOD could have created.
There are the weeds...Yeah, I've got lots of weeds because I don't spend enough time weeding and controlling the little demons that sometimes grow too large and overtake the creations of GOD.
Finally there are the garden pests...The aggravating, life-sucking bearers of destruction and disease that threaten to undermine and destroy my garden. Sometimes these are actual, real people...but sometimes these things are my own inner demons...
And, so, I begin this journey of blogging in hopes that I'll make you laugh, far and above all else. If you just happen to walk away with something deeper than a tickle of your funny bone, then I will have accomplished more than I had hoped for.
May GOD bless you and keep you and may you always know HIS love for you.
My initial response would be, I don't know.
However, that's from my more flippant side...Because the real reason I've created this blog is for myself and my friends...those people who believe in me and what I write.
Writing has been a part of me since I was about ten years of age. I've written poetry and I've written essays: I've written short stories and I have a collection of unfinished books of fiction. And, of course, I write about things that happen in my every day life: funny things, sad things, things that piss me off and things that I deem important to who I am and what I believe.
My Life truly IS a Garden...
There's the dirt...some of it good and fertile, some of it lacking anything but the filth.
There is the grass...sometimes it makes for a nice place to lie back and enjoy it's softness, but then sometimes it overtakes the garden and needs to be cut or pulled out completely.
There are the flowers, the plants, the shrubs and trees...Beautiful pieces of life that only GOD could have created.
There are the weeds...Yeah, I've got lots of weeds because I don't spend enough time weeding and controlling the little demons that sometimes grow too large and overtake the creations of GOD.
Finally there are the garden pests...The aggravating, life-sucking bearers of destruction and disease that threaten to undermine and destroy my garden. Sometimes these are actual, real people...but sometimes these things are my own inner demons...
And, so, I begin this journey of blogging in hopes that I'll make you laugh, far and above all else. If you just happen to walk away with something deeper than a tickle of your funny bone, then I will have accomplished more than I had hoped for.
May GOD bless you and keep you and may you always know HIS love for you.
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