The past year has been hard as I struggled with my faith in God, faith in myself and a belief system that had seemingly gone awry. Though I never gave up my belief in God, I did wobble on my belief that things would eventually work out for the best.
There are days when I look back over this past year and it seems as if I'm standing in the distant and looking back into someone else's life. It also feels as if I've been dead...Or at the very least, comatose. It is so unreal...So lost...So still...
I'm not sure what work God has been doing in my, but I do know that He has never left me, never forsaken me, never once forgotten about me...Even when I've been angry with Him, shook my fists heavenward and loudly voiced EXACTLY how I've felt about things, including Him. But just like I do when my own children say hurtful things to me out of anger and pain, I know that God probably shed a tear, sent out a blessing and totally understood the things that I didin't understand myself.
God is good, like that...He is the role model for every single person who has ever given birth, created and/or adopted a child...
As parents, we claim that we are given NO instruction manuel for raising kids, but that is probably the greatest lie ever told! We ARE given an instruction manuel...It's called The Holy Bible. Little wonder the WORD tells us repeatedly to "get to know God" and "seek God in all things"...It is in leanring who God really is, developing a deep relationship with the God who loves us all, that we learn how to raise our kids...How to parent...How to live this life that isn't always neat and pretty.
And this leads me to another very sad observation...
Late at night I read up on people all over the globe because I am bored and because I am fascinated. However, I've become not only saddened, but utterly horrified at the number of people in the public eye who do not believe in God, do not believe in Jesus and who do not believe in any thing!
How can that be? I do not understand how anyone can live in this world and not believe in anything.
It distresses me when I read about people who have died young deaths and who seemed to have so much going for them before their deaths, and yet their own words have been recorded as saying things like, "I don't believe in Jesus." and "I don't believe in God."
How can anyone live like that? Maybe they can't...Maybe that is why they didn't last long on this earth.
I just know for certain that there IS a force greater than I; a force greater than I can even imagine...And without that being, my GOD and His Son Jesus, I would not be here today.
The Spirit reminds me of all the times that God has rescued me, rewarded me and brought things to pass that no one, but me, believed would ever materialize.
I pray that I am ever mindful of these past blessings so that my faith might remain strong during times of trial.
To GOD be THE Glory!