Oh, I wish I was a little monkey
A hangin’ in a tree,
I’d spend my days just hangin’ around
Seein’ what I could see…
I’d fool my friends
like I always do
I’d enjoy just bein’ free…
eatin’ my ‘nanners,
mindin’ my manners……
Sittin’ on my branch
way up in the sky
on the world below
I’d pee!
Monday, December 21, 2009
Piss on it!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
I am Blessed, and I know it!
December 12th, 2009
I am so blessed…in so many areas of my life…For the first time, in a very long time, I wake up in the mornings happy to be alive, happy to be where I am and happy to be around the people who are in my life. There is no place I’d rather be and no other people I’d rather be with…For the first time that I can remember, I can honestly say, “I’m Good!” and mean every word!
I’ve got the best husband in the world! He has a sweet, tender heart and the patience of Job…I know this because I’m the one who requires it! He’s an absolute saint at providing for his family and he doesn’t know what “quit” means. He loves me for me…no false pretenses, no unrealistic expectations…he just wants me to be me and loves me because I do & am! He shares my belief that “The Jones’” are assholes and anyone who tries to keep up with them are insecure, needy, incompetent fools…And we are certain of this because we are related to so many of both!!! Simplicity in our lives, honesty in our hearts and humor in every breath we take…Larry is my lover, my soul-mate and my very best friend. I am so blessed to be given such a precious gift as he.
My kids…I have three of the most quirky, peculiar, wonderful kids a person could ever ask for! Each one is a tiny piece of me, developed into a whole person…And I recognize their attributes and faults as my own. They’ve taught me much and given me much to both pray and be thankful for. They make me laugh and they make me cry, but never have they bored me. I am so blessed to have seen them safely into adulthood, and despite my fears, they will all be great adults.
My grandson…It was hard, at first, putting all of my selfish desires aside and pursuing full custody of this child. It hasn’t been an easy road to travel because at first, I listened to this idiot with a degree, and that idiot with a degree, tell me how and what to do…And it almost cost the child his life…Stupid damned psychiatrist and Medicaid! But when I finally found Myself and that inner voice that told me to follow my heart, I was able to save his life, once again. Through all of the tantrums, medicine induced violence and weird behavior that he could not help, I look back now and realize…There is no place I’d rather be and no one I’d rather be with than HIM! I am BLESSED to know that he is safe, healthy and he, too, will grow up to be a great adult…He’s going to be just fine!
My home…The first time I visited this area, I lost my heart to these hills and lakes. Every time I’ve visited since, I’ve left with tears in my eyes and a sadness that overwhelmed me to the point of serious depression. In my heart, THIS place was my HOME…And now I get to live here! Now it IS my home! I wake up every morning and look out the dining room window to see the sun light touching the mountains (or big hills!)…and I look off the front porch and see the steam rising off of Lake LBJ and rising to the top of Look Out Mountain…and I smile because I AM home! There are not enough words to explain my love of this place…Nor do I even comprehend this love myself…I just know that for the first time in my 46 years, I AM HOME, and I am blessed to be here.
And as I close out this day, my Mother’s birthday, I am filled with gratitude to God for listening and answering my prayers, my dreams and my visions…He has blessed me abundantly, and my cup doth runneth over! Thank You!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
William Anthony Stetson 1964-1985
The wind blows gently
across the hills
stirring leaves and hearts alike…
sending bits of me away-
bringing pieces of you
back to me.
You’ve been gone
longer than you lived,
your youth captured
forever in your death…
Yet it seems like only yesterday
when I kissed your brow Good-Bye.
And …you haunt me
all these long, weary years
with a pain that never dies…
as the wind blows past
I feel your breath
as it once felt upon my skin.
I’ve found your scent
in the piney woods,
heard you whisper
as the wind stirred
through the needles…
I’ve felt your caress
in a hot, steady breeze
sliding easily over desert sands.
I’ve watched your passion
as it hit the beaches
on a constant, steady
Gulf Breeze…
Your laughter I find
in a cold, blue norther
rushing in with surprise
as it tickles my face
causing a smile deep down
in my heart.
After twenty-four years,
I still miss you…
I still love you…
The wind blows gently
across the hills
stirring leaves and hearts alike…
telling me that you are still alive
in my memories,
in my heart.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Update
November 27, 2009
Much has changed since I was here last and much has changed for the better.
We got a buyer for our house in East Texas back in the latter part of September and by October 21rst, we'd closed. We bought another place in the Texas Hill Country, and though it isn't perfect or nearly as large or quaint as our old place, it is PAID FOR!!! Within a ten day span we had managed to pay off over $100,000. worth of debt...Thank GOD!!!
Anyway, as I said, things aren't perfect and we are still trying to get things settled, but God has been very good and very trustworthy.
Nice things have happened and He has come through on many fronts.
But, on a sad note...My baby boy left today with the destination of Iraq.
I am not happy about this, no matter how old he grows, he is still my baby son and I will always worry, shed my tears and fear for his safety.
I know it is hard as hell on these soldiers as they head off and live harshly in a country that is so foreign to them. I know that they are all struggling and facing things most Americans will never comprehend, nor could they handle it if they could comprehend!
Maybe this is one reason I, as a mother of a soldier, have such great discomfort knowing where my child is headed.
He didn't want my tears.
We're told by their CO's not to show them our tears...to remain upbeat, optimistic and give our soldiers smiles.
Ha! As if I could do that!!!
If I can kick and scream and be willing to beat hell out of anyone who messes with one of mine, then I will damned sure bawl my eyes out when I hug him good-bye at the airport!
What people fail to understand is that this is hard as hell on us back here at home, too. While we aren't putting our lives on the line, we are standing by, unable to do one damned thing, as our son's and daughters, husbands and wives, brothers and sisters ARE putting their lives on the line.
We turn on our televisions or our radios or open a newspaper and we are slapped, almost daily, with a death toll from Iraq or Afghanistan. We are constantly reminded of the injured, both physically and mentally, who are making their ways back to the states to live in our military hospitals until they can learn to function in society or their bed is needed.
And all the while, we wake up every day, hoping and praying our loved one will remain safe and come back home to us walking on his/her own accord and possessiong the same stable mental health he/she left with.
We pray no one in full military dress pays us any kind of visit and that we don't get a phone call from the Red Cross or our loved one's military unit...And as much as we love our soldier, and as much as we long to hear from them, we find blessings and hope when another day passes without any bad news about them.
So, yeah, I'm gonna cry and I'm gonna worry. I am gonna pray and I am gonna hope that God brings my son back home to me safe, whole and unscarred...And then my tears will be of joy and thanksgiving.
God, watch over my child and every other soldier in the world tonight.
Their lives are precious...
Much has changed since I was here last and much has changed for the better.
We got a buyer for our house in East Texas back in the latter part of September and by October 21rst, we'd closed. We bought another place in the Texas Hill Country, and though it isn't perfect or nearly as large or quaint as our old place, it is PAID FOR!!! Within a ten day span we had managed to pay off over $100,000. worth of debt...Thank GOD!!!
Anyway, as I said, things aren't perfect and we are still trying to get things settled, but God has been very good and very trustworthy.
Nice things have happened and He has come through on many fronts.
But, on a sad note...My baby boy left today with the destination of Iraq.
I am not happy about this, no matter how old he grows, he is still my baby son and I will always worry, shed my tears and fear for his safety.
I know it is hard as hell on these soldiers as they head off and live harshly in a country that is so foreign to them. I know that they are all struggling and facing things most Americans will never comprehend, nor could they handle it if they could comprehend!
Maybe this is one reason I, as a mother of a soldier, have such great discomfort knowing where my child is headed.
He didn't want my tears.
We're told by their CO's not to show them our tears...to remain upbeat, optimistic and give our soldiers smiles.
Ha! As if I could do that!!!
If I can kick and scream and be willing to beat hell out of anyone who messes with one of mine, then I will damned sure bawl my eyes out when I hug him good-bye at the airport!
What people fail to understand is that this is hard as hell on us back here at home, too. While we aren't putting our lives on the line, we are standing by, unable to do one damned thing, as our son's and daughters, husbands and wives, brothers and sisters ARE putting their lives on the line.
We turn on our televisions or our radios or open a newspaper and we are slapped, almost daily, with a death toll from Iraq or Afghanistan. We are constantly reminded of the injured, both physically and mentally, who are making their ways back to the states to live in our military hospitals until they can learn to function in society or their bed is needed.
And all the while, we wake up every day, hoping and praying our loved one will remain safe and come back home to us walking on his/her own accord and possessiong the same stable mental health he/she left with.
We pray no one in full military dress pays us any kind of visit and that we don't get a phone call from the Red Cross or our loved one's military unit...And as much as we love our soldier, and as much as we long to hear from them, we find blessings and hope when another day passes without any bad news about them.
So, yeah, I'm gonna cry and I'm gonna worry. I am gonna pray and I am gonna hope that God brings my son back home to me safe, whole and unscarred...And then my tears will be of joy and thanksgiving.
God, watch over my child and every other soldier in the world tonight.
Their lives are precious...
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