Piss on it!

Oh, I wish I was a little monkey
A hangin’ in a tree,
I’d spend my days just hangin’ around
Seein’ what I could see…
I’d fool my friends
like I always do
I’d enjoy just bein’ free…
eatin’ my ‘nanners,
mindin’ my manners……
Sittin’ on my branch
way up in the sky
on the world below
I’d pee!

I am Blessed, and I know it!

December 12th, 2009

I am so blessed…in so many areas of my life…For the first time, in a very long time, I wake up in the mornings happy to be alive, happy to be where I am and happy to be around the people who are in my life. There is no place I’d rather be and no other people I’d rather be with…For the first time that I can remember, I can honestly say, “I’m Good!” and mean every word!

I’ve got the best husband in the world! He has a sweet, tender heart and the patience of Job…I know this because I’m the one who requires it! He’s an absolute saint at providing for his family and he doesn’t know what “quit” means. He loves me for me…no false pretenses, no unrealistic expectations…he just wants me to be me and loves me because I do & am! He shares my belief that “The Jones’” are assholes and anyone who tries to keep up with them are insecure, needy, incompetent fools…And we are certain of this because we are related to so many of both!!! Simplicity in our lives, honesty in our hearts and humor in every breath we take…Larry is my lover, my soul-mate and my very best friend. I am so blessed to be given such a precious gift as he.

My kids…I have three of the most quirky, peculiar, wonderful kids a person could ever ask for! Each one is a tiny piece of me, developed into a whole person…And I recognize their attributes and faults as my own. They’ve taught me much and given me much to both pray and be thankful for. They make me laugh and they make me cry, but never have they bored me. I am so blessed to have seen them safely into adulthood, and despite my fears, they will all be great adults.

My grandson…It was hard, at first, putting all of my selfish desires aside and pursuing full custody of this child. It hasn’t been an easy road to travel because at first, I listened to this idiot with a degree, and that idiot with a degree, tell me how and what to do…And it almost cost the child his life…Stupid damned psychiatrist and Medicaid! But when I finally found Myself and that inner voice that told me to follow my heart, I was able to save his life, once again. Through all of the tantrums, medicine induced violence and weird behavior that he could not help, I look back now and realize…There is no place I’d rather be and no one I’d rather be with than HIM! I am BLESSED to know that he is safe, healthy and he, too, will grow up to be a great adult…He’s going to be just fine!

My home…The first time I visited this area, I lost my heart to these hills and lakes. Every time I’ve visited since, I’ve left with tears in my eyes and a sadness that overwhelmed me to the point of serious depression. In my heart, THIS place was my HOME…And now I get to live here! Now it IS my home! I wake up every morning and look out the dining room window to see the sun light touching the mountains (or big hills!)…and I look off the front porch and see the steam rising off of Lake LBJ and rising to the top of Look Out Mountain…and I smile because I AM home! There are not enough words to explain my love of this place…Nor do I even comprehend this love myself…I just know that for the first time in my 46 years, I AM HOME, and I am blessed to be here.

And as I close out this day, my Mother’s birthday, I am filled with gratitude to God for listening and answering my prayers, my dreams and my visions…He has blessed me abundantly, and my cup doth runneth over! Thank You!

John, Me, Philip & Logan before Kosovo

 

Our girls…Can you believe they’re sisters?

Rudolph’s Revenge

William Anthony Stetson 1964-1985

The wind blows gently

across the hills

stirring leaves and hearts alike…

sending bits of me away-

bringing pieces of you

back to me.

You’ve been gone

longer than you lived,

your youth captured

forever in your death…

Yet it seems like only yesterday

when I kissed your brow Good-Bye.

And …you haunt me

all these long, weary years

with a pain that never dies…

as the wind blows past

I feel your breath

as it once felt upon my skin.

I’ve found your scent

in the piney woods,

heard you whisper

as the wind stirred

through the needles…

I’ve felt your caress

in a hot, steady breeze

sliding easily over desert sands.

I’ve watched your passion

as it hit the beaches

on a constant, steady

Gulf Breeze…

Your laughter I find

in a cold, blue norther

rushing in with surprise

as it tickles my face

causing a smile deep down

in my heart.

After twenty-four years,

I still miss you…

I still love you…

The wind blows gently

across the hills

stirring leaves and hearts alike…

telling me that you are still alive

in my memories,

in my heart.