Sunday, October 28, 2007

Alphabetic Ailments

Ailments. Nowdays everyone seems to need an ailment to suffer from. I visit my Yahoo groups and find that a large percentage of the people there are suffering from one ailment or another...And to make it even more confusing, these ailments are shortened to letters of the alphabet, and that drives me insane!

There are people suffering from ADD, ADHD, PSS, PSD, OCD, CTS, HD, AS, FM, EDD, RLS, PD, BPD, MD, UBS, DSD and the list is endless! To make this worse, just about every person suffering from one group of letters also suffers from other letter combinations to the point you begin to wonder if perhaps their main problem is more academic than physical!!! Sometimes I get so annoyed I want to introduce these people to "Hooked on Phonics" and a speech therapist and tell them to leave the doctors alone!!!

When I was growing up kids were "wild", mothers were either "down in the dumps" or their "nerves were bothering them", and erectile dysfunction really meant that the man was simply gettin' old. War vets were the only ones who had "flash backs" and if our moods were ever changing we were said to be "nervous" or had "bad hormones". If your body hurt in weird places we called it "rhuematism" and if your stomach misbehaved regularly we said you had "stomach troubles".
It was just so much easier back then to know what ailed people...We didn't need an interpreter or a dictionary or a thirty minute explanation by someone who has been happily diagnosed with yet another letter combination.

I think I'm going to start telling people that I have "JC" (Jesus Christ) and that I suffer from "CH" (Complete Healing). I am an "FAW" (Fat Adored Wife), "WM" (Wacky Mom) and that I am happily suffering from "OI/D" (Optimistic Illusions/Delusions).

Ha! Won't that make for interesting debates!!!

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